That XX
The Safe Place

Anastasia—

Do you know what the most annoying thing a lot of people know? I became very busy and had to get tired, but it was a risk that I had to accept since deciding to pursue this field. It's just that, sometimes I do find it a little annoying. Just sometimes, so don't sneer at me. Everyone must have been in a phase like I was in.

Yeah, I'm a new model who's been around long enough since I entered this world. Maybe about two years ago when I first started, and after entering my third year I started getting to know a lot of people and getting a lot of shooting schedules.

Many rumors and rumors that say if I only capitalize on a beautiful face and also the connection of both my parents to start this career. You can believe it, maybe not, that's the purpose of gossip, right? Depends on how you trust. But, if I can give you an answer, it's because of my hard work. These two years have been really difficult for me because I started everything from scratch without anyone's help.

Indeed, I have parents with various connections that they have, and I am also quite there if I want to launch my career, but I refused that option. As long as I can try, why do I have to go the instant way? It's honest, but if you keep believing the rumors going around, I can't do anything about it.

“Nas, soon it's your turn, stand by, yes.”

I immediately got out of the waiting room chair and pegged myself in front of the mirror again. It's neat, and nothing less. I immediately walked towards the set of the shoot, I usually waited for my shooting turn on the set of the shoot itself. It's been my habit from the beginning to be a model, so the crew won't have to look for me anymore.

“You nervous?” mama Nimas asked who suddenly appeared beside me. Ma'am Nimas is my manager, who arranges all the shooting schedules and also the person I trust the most.

“Commonly, Ma'am. Why emang?” askaku. It's just a photo shoot as usual, why should I be nervous?

“Partner you are today very handsome, you know Brian Hartono, right?”

Brian Hartono's? Who her? What is one model too? But I've never heard of her name, or maybe a new model? I just shook my head in response to Nimas's question.

The turn of Mbak Nimas who looked at me was horror. Should I know who this guy is? I will also only meet him in this photo shoot. Not yet had the opportunity to answer my sentence, I have been called for my turn. Shortly after, a young man also entered into the set of the shoot. Is this Brian Hartono? Handsome, but not handsome enough for me, because I know one of the handsome men according to my version.

Of the many men I have met, be it a model or photographer, or whoever they are, only that man is the most handsome in my opinion. We have met quite often for work, and every meeting always means many things. At least for me, because this is just one-sided love.

I fell in love at first sight, and that feeling started to develop as the meetings were going on and I started to find out about her. To this day, that feeling has not gone away. It's been about a year or almost two, because I've met her since the beginning of my modeling career.

It may sound very cringey, but it's what's happening. One-sided love is painful, but if enjoyed, it feels very happy. If you haven't tried, it might be good to try. Next time I'm going to tell you about this guy, I need to refocus on my photoshoot right now in order to get home early.

**

“Where, anyway, Dean, this is still white-and-white. Very tight you peel the skin semangkanya.”

“You cut yourself try, like you can be better than this aja.”

“Means what I said too, why bother buying watermelon. Mending is also an apple or orange that lives to eat directly.

“Males is so, anyway, so girl. Pantes singles are not round.

“Heh, ngaca dong, situ also single.”

I came out of my room to hear that familiar commotion. Dean and Tamara never get along for a second, including in my house like this. It's Saturday afternoon, and every day we have a ritual to gather the three. Either it's in my house, or Tamara's apartment. Do not ask why Dean's residence is not mentioned, this man although very neat, but the level of neatness of his apartment is really above the average—read, very chaotic.

This time, my house is the host. Don't imagine these two friends of mine cooking for our lunch, my kitchen would really be a broken ship if that happened. The safest option is just an interstitial message, but for dessert business like this fruit, those who buy it.

“You've already eaten pesen?’ I ask still with my sleeping pajamas.

“Again, take a bath there abis it eat together,” replied Dean.

“I don't have a schedule today and I've washed my face, so let's go straight. Laper really yesterday just eat fruit aja.”

Being a model means you have to be ready with various rules, especially in terms of food. Ms. Nimas is very strict about food, because I have to maintain my body shape. He would allow me to cheat only during holidays like this, and that could only happen once a month or even no holiday at all during that one month.

My schedule is very busy right now. Different types of photoshoots, filming commercials, being a guest for some television shows as well as other offers. Yes, I am as busy as I am right now, getting together with my best friend is a very precious time for me.

“Why are you, Ra?” I saw Tamara looking at me with her hands held up on her chin.

“You two are very suitable, there is no intention to date?” say Tamara relax.

That sentence again, I even got tired of having to answer how. How many years, anyway, we're friends? Eight years? Nine years? We met and became close friends since becoming new students, we were in the same Faculty and we just made friends, until now.

“Until when do you want to nanyakin it?”

“Tamara is that, Nas, his brain was dusty because he waited for a guy to be his girlfriend,” Dean timpal.

Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of the bell, and Dean quickly opened the door, which was certain it was the courier delivering the food. Shortly thereafter, Dean had brought three bags in which it must have been filled with food.

“What do you eat pesen?” my many.

"McD.”

“Tamara lie, Nas. This is your favorite shit, really. I have pesenin your favorite roast duck, nih,” Dean chirped.

Tamara immediately embraced my shoulder with her mischievous smile. Already know, right, how Tamara's nature how? He is full of ignorance and sometimes very difficult to control, wild as well and very surpass myself for that one problem. We are two people with very different natures, but believe me, because of our nature, we can be close friends until now.

You could say we complement each other. Tamara would suddenly come to me in anger if I told her about the decision I had to make, and I was confused. I'm a very long-thinking person before deciding things, sometimes a plan, but I know which good decisions I have.

As for Tamara, she can immediately decide something without thinking twice. He said his brain couldn't think well if he didn't decide right away. There are positives and negatives too. Positively, he is very confident and also responsible for his decision. Negatively, he is very sloppy and sometimes does not think about anything else and seems indifferent. The motto of his life is, don't think twice.

“But attention, anyway, this Dean. You don't buy my favorite food too?” ask Tamara with her face.

“You know him, Nas?”

A loud punch landed on Dean's shoulder after he said the sentence. Later, you will see more fights and also acts of violence like this. So, do not be surprised and enjoy it as well as possible. We sat at the table with our own food.

“What is the same as Gebetan, Nas?” ask Tamara.

I choked on hearing Tamara's sudden question, fortunately I was not eating the sambal that was also provided with this duck. It also makes me misbehave, because I never talked about this problem when Dean was with us. It's not that I don't want to share this story with Dean, it's just uncomfortable for me to tell Dean.

which “Gebetan, huh? How am I not in the story?”

See, right? Tamara did have to really do the tutoring on her mouth and also the talk that came out of her, because she was very outspoken.

“Udah, story, Nas. Just this Dean, just time he has a solution for your pedekate later.” Tamara lowered her eyebrows like before, maybe with the intention of wanting to flirt, but it just looks annoying to me.

“Anas again likes the photographer, forget what his name is, I just know he is handsome. But yes, until now there is no development. Until now they have never been together, once so, how the photographer want to know try.”

Tamara and her mouth were different, please remind me to prepare duct tape if we are gathering like this.

“Behold, I still don't understand. So—“

“Udah, abisin first food, later I will tell,” cut me. I gave a deadly look to Tamara who was just a whimper in her seat. It was wrong for me to meet this woman.

**

Back again in the shooting episode for the umpteenth time. If you meet me, then do not be surprised if my location is not far from the photo shoot and also home. Among the many schedules I have, I prefer to sleep as the best thing I have ever had in my life.

I wouldn't want to be taken for a walk if my day off, sleep was still the most important thing.

So far, there has been no warm gossip for me that has influenced my model career. Maybe it was just a grapevine about the connection I had to get a job, and I was so tired of having to explain it over and over again. I wouldn't be like this without the talent I have. The end of conversation.

“Udah ready, Nas?” ask Mbak Nimas.

I just smiled and immediately got up from my chair towards the door. This time, I was doing a photo shoot for a jewelry brand owned by one of the local artists. By wearing a silver cocktail dress and necklaces, earrings, rings and bracelets which are jewelry that I advertised this time.

My eyes saw a slightly familiar scene when I arrived at the shooting set. Yes, of course, the camera, the crew, the lighting and a variety of other supporting devices, I am very familiar with all of that. But that's not the problem. The man behind the camera lens, who looks focused with the camera in his hand. I don't know if he's the photographer this time.

As soon as our eyes met, I gasped, he smiled at me and walked up to me. I was really unprepared this time, my face must have turned red, plus my makeup this time was not too excessive. He would have seen it like this.

“How are you, Jani?”

My name is Anastasia Renjani, everyone who knows me always calls her Anas, sometimes Ana. But this guy, he presumptuously called me Renjani, or Jani to be shorter, which made my heart work extra. Don't you know if I'm so weak just because of Jani's call?

“B—well, Mas. I don't know if Mas is the photographer,” I replied nervously.

He returned to show that smile. Geez, if I don't remember going to take a photo shoot, then I just want to faint. I'm really not immune to this guy's charm.

“I just change, it happens that the real photographer has a personal business that he cannot stay in. No problem, right?” tanyakanya.

The problem. Very problematic. I wasn't ready to have to look at her during this shoot, even though it wasn't the first time. So, if you remember my conversation yesterday with Tamara about the bustle, this man in front of me is the object of the conversation. If you remember the only handsome man I think, this man is also the object.

Duke Wiryatama, I used to call him Mas Wira, and people who knew him also called by the same name. Our last meeting was about six months ago, still the same as photographers and models. I thought I wouldn't see him again, but I accidentally met him under these circumstances, when I wasn't ready.

“Udah ready, right? We start now?”

I nodded my head with an awkward smile. Everything about this guy really makes me float. I'm not exaggerating, because that's how I feel every time we meet, every time he smiles at me, and every time he calls me Renjani. We felt very familiar, but far away.

It's one-sided love, because I want it this way. Just looking at her from a distance makes me happy. Maybe later, if I'm ready, I'll express my feelings to her. For now, I prefer it like this.

**