ARTHUR
32

“I have no means of livelihood. I was unknown to my neighbors, and wanted to remain unknown. I am not qualified for menial labor by all my life habits; but there is no choice between poverty and perseverance, between honest labor and criminal inactivity. I unceasingly contemplated the sadness of my condition. Hours passed, and the horror of desire began to envelop me. I searched eagerly for the path with which I could escape. My evil nature leads me from one guilty thought to another. I took refuge in my usual ruse, and ended up reconciling myself with the scheme of forgery !"

“After confirming my destination, it is necessary to find a way that I can use to do so. This is not clear or directly suggested. The more I reflect on my project, the more and more difficulties that arise. I have no partner in my efforts. The proper attention to my safety, and a never-quenched sense of honor, prevented me from seeking helpers and coagents. The self-esteem of mankind is the source of all my activity, the mother of all my virtues and all my evils. To preserve this, my guilty project must have no witnesses or take part.

"I soon discovered that to implement this scheme demanded time, application, and money, none of my current situations would allow me to devote myself to it. At first it seems that the level of skill and prudence that can be achieved will allow me to arrive, by means of counterfeit money, to the peak of prosperity and honor.My mistakes are detected by closer inspection, the, and finally I saw nothing on this path except great danger and insurmountable obstacles.

“However what alternatives are offered to me? To defend myself with the work of my hands, to perform any heavy duty or any prescribed task, does not conform to my nature. My habits deterred me from village work. My pride is considered to be a vile and despicable occupation whatever the city can afford. Meanwhile, my desire was as urgent as ever, and my funds ran out.

“There may be few, whose external situation is similar to mine, who will find in it anything but incitement to industry and discovery. A thousand methods of subsistence, honest but exhausting, are under my command, but for this I am comforting the irreconcilable. The reluctance of Ease and the respect that accompanies luxury I am willing to buy at the price of ever-awakened suspicion and eternal regret, but, even at this price, the purchase is impossible.

“The despair of my condition is becoming more and more apparent every hour. The further I expand my view, the darker the clouds that hang over the future. Suffering and infamy seem to be inseparable conditions of my being. There is one way to avoid evil that To free myself from self-deprecation and avoid persecution of my wealth is only possible by detaching myself from life itself.

“One night, as I crossed the riverbank, this gloomy meditation was unusually intense. They finally ended up determined to plunge themselves into the river. The first impulse was to immediately rush towards my death; but the memory of the paper, lying in my inn, was probably revealed more than I wanted to the curiosity of the survivors, he said, encouraged me to postpone this disaster until the next morning.

"My goal was formed, I found my heart lighter than its usual weight. By you it would be considered strange, but nevertheless true, that I am from this new prospect of not only tranquility but also cheerfulness. I rushed home. I entered, my landlord told me that someone had been looking for me when I was not around. This was an incident that never happened, and it didn't give me a bad feeling. I firmly believe that my visitors have been brought here not with a friendly but hostile purpose. This Persuasion is confirmed by the description of the guise and attitude of the stranger given by my landlord. My fear instantly recognized the image of Watson, the man with whom I had greatly benefited, and his kindness had me indemnified by the destruction of his sister and the confusion of his family.

"My walk leads past the inn where one of the stages from Baltimore used to stop. I was not unaware that Watson might have been brought in by the train that had just arrived, and who was now standing at the door of the inn. The danger I was described or encountered by him when I passed by did not fail to happen, this should be avoided by deviating from the main road.

“I had just turned a corner for this purpose when I was greeted by a young man I knew as a city resident, but with whom I have hitherto done nothing but a temporary greeting. He apologized for his mistake.The freedom of speech to me, and, at the same time, asked me if I understood French.

"Accounted with approval, he went on to tell me that on stage, just arriving, had come a passenger, a young man who appeared to be French, who knew absolutely no of our language, who had no knowledge of it, and who have been infected with malignant diseases. .

"My informant felt sorry for the miserable condition of the stranger, and had just looked for me at my inn, which was, in the hope that my knowledge of the French language would allow me to speak to the sick person, and gain from him knowledge of his situation and views.

“The concerns I have formed are quickly eliminated, and I easily agree to do this service. The young man, indeed, was in a miserable state. In addition to the pain of his illness, he was overwhelmed by grief. The innkeeper was very anxious for the transfer of his guests. He was completely unwilling to bear the hardships and expenses of the sick or dying, which was almost impossible that he would ever be replaced. Travelers do not have luggage, and his clothes signify the pressure of many desires.

"My affection for this stranger is very strong. I have a suitable apartment, for which I have no power to pay the rent; but my inability in this matter is unknown, and I may enjoy my lodging without interruption." a few weeks The fate of this young man will be decided soon, and I should be left free to carry out my first intention before my shame increases noticeably.