ARTHUR
64

This meeting is ordinary. Since I believe you are dead, it is impossible otherwise. You are wrong, if you think that there is an injury that will happen to you from my life; but you do not need to throw away that mistake. Since my death is coming, I'm not resisting you adopting the belief that the event is a lucky break for you.

Death is inevitable and universal. When or how it came, just for a moment. Standing up, when thousands of people fell around me, was not expected. I have acted as a humble and obscure part of the world, and my career has been brief; but I have not grumbled at the decision that made it so.

The trash is now upon me. The chances of recovery are too slim to gain my trust. I came here to die without interruption, and in peace. All I ask of you is to consult with your own safety on an immediate flight; and not to disappoint my expectations to be hidden, by revealing my condition to the hospital agent."

Welbeck listened attentively. His airborne loitering disappeared, and was replaced by confusion and fear.

You are sick," he said, with a trembling tone, where terror mingled with affection. "You know this, and hope not to recover. No mother, sister, or friend, will be near to give me food, or medicine, or comfort; yet you can speak calmly; can thus pay attention to others; the guilt has been so deep, and who deserves so little in your hands!

Wretched coward! How sad I am and I wish for it, I cling to life. To obey your heroic counsel, and to fly; to leave you so silent and helpless, is the strongest impulse. I'll reject it, but I can't.

Leaving you will be a conspicuous and cowardly act beyond all previous actions; but staying with you means contracting a disease, and perishing after you.

Life, saddled with guilt and disgrace, is still dear—but you urge me to go; you do not give me my help. Indeed, I am useless; I must hurt myself and not benefit you. I can't go to the city and get a healer or a waiter. I can no longer appear on the streets of this city. Then I'll have to leave you." He rushed to the door. Again, he hesitated. I renewed my plea that she would leave me; and encouraged her belief that her presence could harm herself without giving me the slightest benefit.

Where should I fly? The vast world has no asylum for me. I live but on one condition. I came here to discover what would save me from destruction, from death. I didn't find it. It has disappeared. Some daring and a lucky hand had snatched it from its place, and now my destruction was finished My last hope was dashed.

Yes, Mervyn! I'll stay with you. I'll hold your head. I'll pour water on your lips. I will keep day and night by your side. When you die, I will take you at night to the neighboring fields; will bury you, and water your grave with tears caused by your unrivalled worth and your untimely destiny. Then I'll lay myself in your bed, and wait for the same forgetfulness."

Welbeck seems to now no longer fluctuate between opposite goals. His tempestuous features died down to calm. He placed the candle, which was still burning, on the table, and paced back and forth on the floor with less disturbance than when he first entered.

His resolution was seen as a dictation of despair. I hope that it will not prove invincible for my rebuttal. I was aware that his presence might hinder, in some ways, my own exertion, and ease the pain of death; but this amusement might be bought too dearly. To accept them at the risk of his life is to make them unclean.

Your decision to stay is to hurry and hurry. By enduring it, you will add to the misery of my condition; you will eliminate the only hope I cherish. But, no matter how you act, Colvill or I have to be thrown off this roof. What is the bond between you? Destroy, I'm magic, before his deception engages you in inevitable ruin."

Welbeck looked at me with a doubtful expression.

I mean," I continued, "the man whose voice I heard above. He is a criminal and a traitor. I have plenty of evidence of his guilt. Why is he lingering behind you? No matter what you decide, it's worth it to disappear."

Honey!" welbeck said, "I have no friends, no one to join me in good or evil. I came here alone."

How's it?" exclamation me. "Who did I hear in the room above? someone answered my interrogation and plea, which I was also certain to know. Why did he stay?"

You don't hear anyone but myself. The plan that brought me here must be completed without witnesses. I'd like to escape detection, and deny your request to enter with a false voice.

The voice belonged to someone I recently separated from. What are the advantages or disadvantages, I don't know. He found me wandering through the woods of New Jersey. He took me to his house. When stricken with a prolonged illness, he treated me with loyalty and gentleness. When somewhat recovered, I sped up here, but our ignorance of each other's character and outlook was reciprocal and profound.

I find it useful to pick up a different voice from my own. This was the last I heard, and this arbitrary and casual circumstance decided my choice."

This impersonation is too perfect, and has affected my fears too strongly, to be easily credited. I suspect Welbeck has a new wit to confuse my conclusions and mislead my judgment. This suspicion, however, resulted in his earnest and repeated statements. If Colvill isn't here, where does he live? What about the friendship and intimate relationship between Welbeck and him? By what miracle did the first one escape from the river, which I had imagined him drowning forever?

I'll answer you," he said, honestly. "You already know too much for me to be interested in hiding any part of my life. You have discovered my existence, and the cause that saved me from destruction can be told without harming my people or fame.

When I jump into the river, I intend to perish. I had no previous doubts about my ability to carry out my fatal goal. In this I was fooled. Suffocation will not come as I wish. My muscles and limbs rebelled against my will. There was a mechanical rejection of the loss of life, which I could not defeat. My struggle may have pushed me under the surface, but my lips spontaneously closed, and ejected a torrential stream from my lungs. When my breath ran out, the effort that kept me subconsciously sent, and I rose to the surface.