Wife Considered Mandul
7. Chat on a Cold Night

"How did it go?" samuel asked as soon as he saw Sarah coming home from the hospital. The woman looks lethargic. Today is the day Samuel and Sarah's health report was given by Doctor Adzani. Samuel did not work because he was waiting for the report. He waited at home while Sarah continued to go to the hospital. Samuel wanted to accompany Sarah to take the examination, but Sarah refused and said she would tell Samuel at home.

And now, when he saw Sarah was lethargic, Samuel suspected that she had the results of her examination. "I'm tired. Can you let me sleep in the room for a while?" ask Sarah later.

Sarah avoided Samuel's question. He just couldn't tell her the real thing was happening to him. Samuel who saw this could only frown. "Why did you rush into the room? I'm asking what about the results of the examination?"

Sarah from the view did not care about the snapping of her husband. He kept his feet up the stairs that led him to the main room.

"Whoo! answer me!" samuel said once again, but Sarah remained unmoved, she did not turn her head until Samuel had to grab her hand.

"Sarah you didn't hear me?" now they face each other. Sarah is expressionless and Samuel is passionate. The two of them stared at each other with eyes that were hard to decipher.

"How's the test?" ask Samuel again.

Sarah tried to rack her brain to find a reason for Samuel not knowing the results of the health examination. He shook. "The result is not out yet, we have to wait tomorrow or the day after tomorrow!"

Samuel who heard this could only scrunch his forehead. "Tomorrow? How could? Didn't Doctor Adzani already say that today's examination came out?"

Sarah nodded. "Yes, but there are some problems in the hospital. So Doctor Adzani can't give his report at this time."

"really?" samuel asked a little in disbelief. But Sarah could not lie to him.

Sarah nodded her head briefly. After feeling that Samuel was satisfied with his answer, he left again. "Then can I rest in the room for a bit? My head is so dizzy. I want to close my eyes!" sarah said again.

Samuel did not answer. He let Sarah rest in his room. Besides, he has to wait until tomorrow until the results of the examination come out. Samuel then looked at Sarah's back who was walking up the stairs to his room. The woman looks different. What was?

Sarah was crying. It was not that she did not accept the fact that her husband could not produce offspring for her. But he felt sorry for Samuel. She did not want her husband to know that fact. And now outside her husband is waiting for news about the results of the examination that she has received this morning. What's he supposed to do? Does it have to be all the reality it gets?

Or should Sarah be honest by telling Samuel everything?

It was almost half past ten in the evening when he heard footsteps coming into the room. Sarah pretends to be asleep when Samuel makes a move by the bed. He immediately laid his body beside Sarah.

"I know you're not sleeping." said Samuel, who saw Sarah's eyelashes twitching. The woman still did not close her eyes.

Sarah opened her eyes as soon as Samuel found out. She looked at her husband in confusion. "How do you know if I haven't slept?"

"I've been with you for five years. How could I not know that you're still not asleep?"

Sarah realized her husband's exact words. Yeah, they've been alive for five years. Sarah clearly knew how Samuel was behaving. Like where the guy used to put his wet towel. Then where the man used to spend time when the two were fighting.

"You're right. We've been married for five years... But I always felt that you no longer loved me." exclaimed Sarah in a low tone. Almost clean.

Samuel looked at his wife. "How could you think that?"

"I've always seen you blind for wanting a child. But we still can't have it. And that's what makes you always ignore me." said Sarah, for the first time dare to voice her heart.

Samuel did not answer. The man simply looked blankly at the somber-looking ceiling of the room. "You know how much I love you, Sar. I just..."

Just...

Sarah was silent for a long time. She did not want to argue with her husband any longer. "I'm sorry." he said later, which had many meanings.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you everything and I'm sorry for making you feel so sick. I should have been the one who was sentenced to be barren, not you" Sarah said in her heart. It seemed powerless to say that Samuel was barren.

Samuel knew that Sarah would always apologize when the woman was lost. Even in every debate that resulted in both of them having to argue, Sarah always apologized first. The woman always gave up on him. Sarah has never been selfish or stubborn. The woman always showed the patience of a wife who made Samuel never want to let go.

For not having the heart, or because Samuel loved him? I don't know, Samuel doesn't know how he feels either.

Slowly Samuel nodded, the man looked silent for a while. "You just need to know that my feelings will never change. That's all."

"I believe it." said Sarah. They both face. As if saying something from behind each other's eyes. "Whatever makes you doubt, I hope you don't care about it and focus on our household alone." exclaimed Sarah later.

Which makes you doubt... Does your mother belong to that category?

Was his mother also someone who made him doubt the marriage he had for five years and his love for Sarah?

Ignore it? Can Samuel do that when he finds out that his mother always had a compelling reason to make him leave Sarah?

Samuel didn't want to talk about this. He chose to end the conversation. "Already, Sar. We better get some sleep tonight I'm so tired..."

Sarah did not answer the sentence, preferring to smile and nod her head. "Tonight... Hugged me.." she asked shyly.

Samuel smiled. "alright. Rest.." he said. He then wrapped his hands around Sarah's waist until she fell asleep.

But two hours later, Samuel stopped sleeping and chose to smoke on the balcony.