That man is my husband
Inshallah!

After seeing the drama that Abi and Aa did, now the precious man in my life is facing two men who have recently disturbed my mind.

In the meantime, I was still sitting in the room with Uma. With a million thoughts, a million fears and a million jitters. In my room I did not stop walking. Wanting to sit was not comfortable, I finally decided to continue standing and pacing like iron.

It's not natural, anyway? A woman feels scared, nervous when determining something important in her life? Choose a soul mate for example. Am I the only one who is too dramatic? I don't know, but this is what I feel.

"Darling, sit down! What achy you from just standing, not to mention pacing indistinctly?"

I looked at Uma, looking shady and reassuring. I also just went to Uma who was sitting on the sofa in my room. Then I hugged Uma very, very tightly. I tried to supply my body with the calmness that has always been in Uma.

Uma stroked my head. Uma is paranormal, who can always know the circumstances and situations experienced by her son.

"Don't be nervous, honey. Calm your heart. God willing, everything will go well. Uma wants to tell the story of Uma's experience first. Ais want to hear?"

I'm nodding.

"First, when Uma was still the same Rudi's father. Experiencing a process like you. Suddenly without wind and rain he proposed to Uma. Romantic, initially often send letters the same flowers. For a long time he said he wanted to be Uma complement his life. Uma is like ice. Nervous, but Uma tries to calm down. Even the process of istikharah is very long. Until that time came with nervousness and fear Uma said. 'Come to my parents'."

"Uma said rich?"

"Yes, although Uma's marriage did not continue. We're not old fools."

"How are you going with Abi?"

"At the same time Abi. You know what not? Abi proposed to Uma so romantic but successful to make the face of Uma meet red. After four years apart, God reunited us and the two Abi met immediately proposed to Uma."

"It's scared, Uma."

Uma held both of my shoulders.

"What are you afraid of? If you have involved God? Give up and be assured that God always knows what is best for His people. And you need to remember, even though Uma's first marriage failed. Not that you will be the same fate as Uma. We take the silver, with the failure of Uma's first marriage. Uma could marry Abi and give birth to amazing children like you and your sisters."

I nodded in understanding. It's just that I'm afraid why the nightmare is a signal of who I should choose. Is it possible for a signal or a hint to be something like that?

***

Half an hour waiting, Aa finally came to the room and asked me to go downstairs immediately. Before descending, Aa first hugged me and landed an old kiss on the top of my head. Aa rubbed my cheeks and then hugged me back. Again Aa's treatment made me overwhelmed.

Now I'm between those two men. I bowed my head as Abi and Uma continued to hold my hand. Several times I tried to catch my breath so I could calm down.

"Waalaikumusalam."

Mr. Zain and Keanu answered simultaneously.

My words were stuck it was hard to speak.

"Before, I said thank you for your willingness to come. Honestly, I didn't know you were seeing my parents. I appreciate your good intentions. If you remember our brief acquaintance, then I learned your taaruf CV. I really feel like there's nothing even worthy of standing with one of you. I don't know what makes you want to make me a companion to life."

I stopped my words for a moment.

"After I have done Istikharah, Alhamdulillah, Allah guides me to whom I should choose. Before, I wanted to ask, are you sincere with all the decisions I've made?"

"God willing, I'm sincere. I will not impose, despite my great expectations for you to choose," said Mr. Zain.

"Where's with you? Are you sincere whatever decision I'm going to make?" I asked Keanu.

"I'm sincere, God willing."

There was a feeling of relief when he heard the sincere word from them. At least no one will get hurt here. Because they have sinned, so they will be ready to accept it.

"Bismillah, by the name of God. I am Aisyila Renata Sanjaya, with full awareness and sincere heart. Through various considerations and istikharah then I accept...."

Back feeling approaching. Choosing pairs of life is not like choosing the things we like and then immediately take. This is really not so. If anyone says I'm overreacting or dramatizing I don't think so. I just want the best that God has prepared. Some say that the soul mate is a reflection of ourselves, if our soul mate wants to be good then fix ourselves. Nor is it wrong.

"Bismillah" I said Bismillah again.

"I received a proposal from Mr. Zain."

Ah, it was a relief when I said that sentence.

"Thank God,"

There was a voice of thanksgiving from Mr. Zain's mouth. I tried to stare a little at Mr. Zain and Keanu, there was still a bad feeling especially at Keanu. I saw Keanu hugging Mr. Zain congratulating him.

May this be the best, may Allah always give smoothness until the time comes. The time when I will be a wife.